...and I am still learning

  Hello world, 2020 nearly goes to its end. Countless lesson learns from many cases in life from around neighbourhood to someone whom I never met before. It is just that we are a soul & human being despite we come to the world in many shapes. Deep down we shared same feeling to be able to overcome our daily life difficulties and be happier day by day. Yes, being a happy person and seeing our loved ones happy. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. How to be happy? It’s the questions we commonly ask and seek. Becoming in that state is the greatest achievement one would so proud of. What things make me happy? I know that I better ask myself every morning so I can use my time well. I will not be lost in thought but by action. The thing was that sometimes I am not aware of what I seek of so that I lost in mixed feeling of being an ungrateful soul.   My vision become unclear and I struggle to find my purpose in life.   However, one thing I know that its ok somet...

Sudah lama saya tidak membaca. Beberapa buku yang ada dari tahun lalu bahkan baru bisa diselesaikan. Terakhir saya barusan  bisa menyelesaikan "Burung-Burung Manyar" karya Y.B Mangunwijaya.  Sedikit kisah untuk buku ini saya beli di Bandung di pasar buku Palasari. Saya ingat betul, saya pergi bersama Surya karena waktu itu kita sudah akan berpisah dengan Bandung. Jadi banyak-banyak beli buku, tapi yah gitu bisa dimarahin penerbit. Tetap beli buku asli ya teman-teman. Mungkin untuk beberapa buku yang memang sudah tidak keluar lagi atau susah dicari.   Kisah menarik tentang Teto, seorang tentara KNIL dengan Larasati, seorang doktor. Saya suka pilihan kata yang digunakan dalam kalimat-kalimat pendek percakapan. Santai tapi sarat makna. Ada yang harus dimaknai sedemikian rupa. Demikian kira-kira terakhir saya membaca. Sekarang sudah lupa detailnya.  Semenjak balik ke rumah juga akses saya untuk membeli buku semakin sempit. Masih kepengen beli Laut Bercerita karya Le...

I thought he will always lift me up Or available  For my grudge or useless comments of life  For my needy of attention  For my smart & sweet talk and I thought I deserve his deep affection I am left questioned of his motive Sometimes I felt (loved?) Sometimes I felt questioning I know logically non sense  To feel all the feeling  But it was real, cute, lifting, comforting, warm For me being self centred  (I guess) and having little understanding and  That overthinking  That ruins things ... I don't like that take care at all Show me some effort or (am I even deserve that?)