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Showing posts from 2013


Hi guys, How is your week going? I hope it pretty smooth, but if not, just thinking that way. Like the wise people stated that it just depends on how we manage the feelings. It means that we can choose to have a happy day so we will satisfy with all things happened in that day and vice versa. I think happy day is not means that we have really good things happen but the bad as well.  It seems easy to just say it but when we give a try, that will be really a good thing you see all day long.
My goal for this week is not feel angry until the end of the year; I think not just me but some people who attended the Trinitas church on Sunday afternoon. Luckily, I am a forbearing person, so I change to something that I'll hard to endure, guess what?  Yup, I am nagging as I stare the computer screen after meet the other department. Also talks to my teammates about the people who seem don't understand about how important our cases are. I think that it is really not good. While …

Karyawan Punya Cerita

Tidak baik membicarakan keburukan orang (aka keburukan managemen perusahaan), lebih baik mencari lowongan baru. Begitu satu kalimat yang saya dapat hari ini. Menampar dan menohok hati. Yah
Kemudian memberi ruang untuk bertanya, bagaimana caranya mengkondisikan hati dan pikiran untuk menanggalkan logika dan mengikuti alur atasan dengan berbagai pertimbangannya.
Juga, menyukseskan hari-hari tanpa amarah sebelum menyudahi perjalanan di 2013. Welcome the happiness project in 2014!Banyak yang sedang dipertimbangkan sekarang. Cita-cita yang lama dibiarkan malah semakin mencari-cari perhatian. Juga tak ketinggalan keengganan akibat tergoda iman dengan kehidupan yang diberikan ibukota. Hidup ada ditangan lo, Rosa.Bukan di siapa-siapa.

Romantic Relationship

As a human, I have been facing the issues about romantic relationship which without planned this matter is always the important part of life as well as the career or even better than it. Feeling loved and to love someone is undefined feeling which we can feel happy, sad, anger at the same time.My personal romantic love stories didn't turn like what I had read in the comics, Korean drama scenes except the single scenes on it, or the movie scenes. There are just parts of it, the feeling, symptoms, eyes, insomnia fever, and the smile which we spread all day, I am sure about it. I believe the movie makers or writers not just make up the love stories scenes. They did research by themselves from the others surround them or they were brave enough to show people how their love stories go. If there is over or out of logic, hell yeah, money makes everything seem entertain enough to be watched and the important thing that there are a few number of people love to watch it. I had …

Mirror of the year

This year not run as I want but of  course I have learnt so much about everything around myself, the confidence, the success as well as the failure. This three parts of my life become one of my blessed experience so far. I am in the middle of my twenties, the age that all called as mature. How grateful for that. Too many things to be improved as a pragmatist and a real human being. 
I am a shy one, sometimes but the fact that I am not interested with what I called silly conversation makes me the one who look shy. Hell yeah, that is not good sometimes. I mean people will more recognize you if you be a source of everything, an informant  apart from the fact that is true or just gossip. But  I am not interested doing the kind of  chit chat, I just shut my mouth up for the things I have known. Better look like you know nothing, of course it depends on the case. The important one or just the silly topic to look like have a great conversation. All I want to say here is as a human being, I mu…

Happy Birthday dear Ansi

Happy birthday, dear Unse. As I am writing this, I remember one warm afternoon when we walked around town and were talking about our future. Remember? I am exactly forget what thing I want to do, but I am pretty sure that one of us want to be a mathematician or auditor. I wonder it was me or you, hahaha. Such a bless to have a nice friend like you, a beautiful and confident one. I wish all the good thing come around in every single of your path. Happy birthday again, wish you stay healthy, wise and grow up every single day. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self  is being renewed day by day.(2 Corinthians 4:16)

A mind

If you ask, how my life is?
Don't make me try to explain to you
I dunno
who knows? Or are you really care?
I doubt it
Don't expect me answer it quickly as fast as I want to hear from you as you came
I copied yours, how is your life?
What a shame!
We are in the same boat
A man with doubt as bigger as hope
I have known since first I have seen it
The creature,  a very good man that ever made
A master piece of something big behind
All is simply colourful
Unfinished puzzle along our perspective
All is carefully painted, in detailed
Nothing is drawed without purpose
I look it from your bright eyes,
I see someone held my hand tightly while we are impressed by the  moon & stars

A walk & A thought

Hi guys, This is lovely Monday, right? Hope all of you are doing well although the weather is in changing process. Many friends have been sick lately, I hope they are getting better this week. I feel so grateful that I am still in better condition after Sunday hibernation.  My Saturday was beautiful, met and greeted Wawan & Odi in UI's library center. I love being around campus area,  it was  recall all the memory since the first day as well as the question, "when you will go to university again?" I will but please somewhere far away, kekekeke. Let's try and pray for it, Rosa! As I was walking around campus, many thoughts come in mind. I saw myself when I was in first year and when I was graduate.  Time flies, right? I am so thankful, God. I love the air, the atmosphere always warm as well as the feeling when I was take a walk in registration day five years ago. I talked to myself, how bad if I was not grateful for the journey and wh…

Glancing Through Life, a brief review

Hi good readers, How is your good life? Hope it runs pretty well, bad and good things happened just take a deep breath and you'll find yourself much better than before. This month's  book is "Glancing Through Life" by Christie Kanter. It is about self developing book which the author tries to give some good perspective about life and its matter. Life is about find purpose, decide what choice, what is love and how to love, what is the gift hide behind the hardship and what is the real happiness means. It is well written book which means easy to read but sometimes hard to apply. Read this book with your heart and let the thoughts spread around your head, may you should have at least a pen and a piece of paper. Actually, I have not done yet with the book, because I want to take it slowly, write what come in mind after some paragraphs. Take quality time in the weekend with good book or do your hobby, it much better than go out somewhere. Traffic j…

Cold Town, Bajawa

What a cold November, yay! I can imagine how cold Bajawa is in this season. We will get the rainy days soon but I think not here in Jakarta, not very often like I was in my hometown. Rainy days in Bajawa were so wet and misty, even one day along it would full of rain. Also the high wind sometimes had blown the corn leaves and trees. We couldn't play around but if the rain had stopped, we went out and cached the flying white ant, played hide and seek, played musuh/enemies ((it is kind of dodge ball game but just two persons catch the little ball) and boy (there is two team, one play as a keeper with the little ball,  the other as the player, build a stone minitower and don't let the keeper catch by the little ball. The little ball is from unused paper made like a kasti ball. I wonder if the children there still play like us before. Unfortunately, my family had moved to the new place in Mbay which is hot than Bajawa. My father want to spend his retired …

Mother Worry

Hi minds all over the illusion world, Everyday we face the choices for all of our aspects of life. Choose what to wear what kind of clothes, shoes, colors, shapes, schools, as well as what we want to be. I think it changes every time. I used to love fried noodles and hate sauce noodles but now I prefer sauce noodles. As a child, I had dreamt to be a teacher for eight years, not just a teacher I also given the detailed, teacher in remote place but it changes. My mom called me this morning after sent me message last night which I didn't reply. I have know she means it, because I  received lateness. She has encouraged me to attend the certificate teacher program which I am not intend to do. I love teaching but not in that way. It like a recall but I know I have another choice but at the time I can't answer to my mother. She thinks it doesn't real plan. Besides she added, the house is empty like we have no children, awwww. How sadly! I'll back s…

All in God's hands

Higorgeous friends ,how is everything going on? I hope you had a very good time with your surround, your family and your lovely one.  Btw, This life is quite quiet or just my life? For the last I mentioned, if you don't have any, it doesn't really matter, we are the same side.God has preparedit, it just about time. For the last four months or more I had worked with the  application and submitted just yesterday, four days  to deadline date. This was better than my first application, one day to deadline, hehehehe. This time is counting days refer to the old timeline from other senior grantees. Luckily, It is more faster to get the result for the very first step, interview session  than the first application. Oh, oh, oh, oh I am nervous, Is my application especially essays questions logic enough? Is it worth to choose among hundreds applications? I have  reviewed my application many times and I have screamed  how stupid I answered that way. But, I believe my e…


Ada yang salah, yah tapi aku tidak menginginkan kebenaran juga.
Biarkan saja begitu, mengalir tanpa tahu kapan terkuak.
Jika sudah waktunya saja, tidak tahu.
Lalu apa artinya, menunggu. Menunggu adalah setia, menunggu adalah memendam sekian rindu, menunggu adalah membangun serangkaian mimpi pengalih waktu.
Salam orang yang tertawan rindu

Jakarta, Bambu Kuning 4
Hari raya Kurban

Useless 1

Things are getting worse or this is just my negative thinking. I have known for some matters it is not in my hand. Too many head too consider. Everybody in this team is being somewhat sensitive with this condition even the humorist one. This is work, pressure everywhere. I was angry too and my expression got worse, hadehhhhhh whereas I want to stay beautifully and calmly Furthermore, I was disappointed with the OB, they were kind of choosing with whom they'll work. It was a shame. I love this work. I love it, but I'll go somewhere with great experiences. I want it. Hope things, all things getting are  better.

Time to say good bye to Mr. Lappy

I have been waiting to see my last post has published but it still publishing. What on Earth the blogger application went wrong like that? :-/ I had spent nearly one hour typed it and one day waited if it publish or not. Ah, give my words back! It is too much to rewrite again since yup everything is not the same with the original one. :-/Keep calm and write other things. I am kind of feeling suck today because I cancelled to attended the writing workshop event  in TIM but first of all it is for the good too. Spending weekend in Jakarta out of your own room means you'll never save money. That's the fact!I also have been working with my lovely netbook since it'll be moved to my brother's hand. Oh dear lappy, thank you so much for our years together. You knew everything about me, my undergraduate thesis and running man things. I'll miss you. I am recycling of old notes, videos and musics to keep the local disk C still has more free space for my broh. I am planning to …

Chevening Schoolarship

Saking exited-nya saya membaca pengalaman rekan-rekan schoolarship hunters yang telah mendapatkan beasiswa, saya pun bermimpi sejenak menginjakan kaki di tanah Britania Raya.
Hadehh, kapan menjadi kenyataan. Ayo teman-teman apply beasiswa chevening, bisa apply online ke sini dan jika mau ikut merasakan pengalaman schoolars yang sudah berhasil, silahkan googling, banyak schoolars yang berbaik hati berbagi cerita.
Nah, saking mendalami cerita-cerita para schoolarship saya biasanya menitikan air mata karena terharu, bikin merinding dan yah yah yah saya tahu bagaimana mereka berjuang, meski tidak tahu detailnya tapi saya tahu rasanya. Sampai terbawa mimpi pula, itu sesuatu! Saya apply meski secara kriteria, saya belum genap bekerja minimal 2 tahun, karena syarat utamanya adalah bagi mereka yang sudah bekerja minimal 2 tahun. Namun tidak menjadi masalah rekan sekalian, karena yang penting adalah usaha, semangat dan doa.
Mari tetap semangat teman-teman,

Selamat jalan Bp. Elias Ndiwa

Pagi ini, kami sekeluarga menerima berita duka atas kepergian bapa besar tercinta, Elias Ndiwa, beliau mempunyai kenangan tersendiri bagi keluarga kami, terutama untuk ayah saya. Ayah saya dulu menjadi tanggungan beliau ketika merantau dan  ayah saya cukup dekat dengan beliau.  Secara pribadi, saya pun mengenal beliau dengan baik, sebagai bapak yang penuh dengan kasih sayang, untuk keluarga besarnya.  Waktu kecil, di usia sekolah, saya selalu disupport untuk prestasi-prestasi kecil saya, kalau beliau datang berkunjung kami pasti dapat oleh-oleh atau pun uang. Terakhir, saya bertemu beliau ketika perjalanan perdana saya ke Kupang, Maret 2012. Tidak sesehat sebelumnya karena menderita sakit tetapi kami bisa mengobrol. Waktu itu, saya disuruh untuk tetap tinggal karena ada info lowongan kerja yang akhirnya saya lewatkan karena tiket pesawat ke Ende sudah saya beli. Beliau masih memikirkan kepentingan saya, dengan tetap menyarankan untuk menunggu namun saya memutuskan unt…

Religius saja tidak cukup

"Walaupun kita berbeda tetapi mereka mengajarkan "humanisme", masalah agama mah itu saya pikir dari kita keluarga, kalau keluarga kita benar-benar mendidik anak, insyaallah anak kita agamanya bagus," demikian ungkapan seorang bapak tukang ojek yang sedang membonceng saya dan mba T.
Kali ini kami pulang lebih malam, saya menyempatkan diri mengantar mba T ke rumah sakit karena dia sedang terkena alergi, gatal-gatal tanpa sebab sampai bibirnya mirip Angelina Jolie :-D. Pilihan kami jatuh pada rumah sakit Cinta Kasih milik yayasan Buddha, dia mendapat rekomendasi dari rekan kerjanya yang pernah ke sana karena ada spesialis dokter kulitnya. Saya pun mendukung karena selama ini saya cuma menonton lewat siaran DAAI TV saja, ingin melihat dan tahu langsung.
Akhirnya kami sampai lokasi dan ini adalah rekor karena berjalan kaki dari depan mall Taman Palem, menolak tawaran beberapa tukang ojek yang mau mengantar kami. Saya sih lebih senang berjalan kaki, sambil bercerita ka…

Di titik nol

Sama seperti bintang dengan kerlipnya sekejab sekejab
Hampir terbenam di langit kelam kecoklatan
tanpa awan
Beda dengan langit yang kulihat duluAku ada di titik nol
Tapi tidak sedang diam
Aku mencari, mendengar setiap suara
Yang riuh meneriaki
Aku ini sedang apa?
Bulan pun tak menyapa.
KelamAku ingin ke utara sambil menggenggam kompasku
Remuk termakan usia juga karena aku lalai
Aku merasainya lagi dalam genggamanku,
Aku ingin ke utara, Tuhan
dan kemudian ada suara lain,
Bagus, ya bagus, kamu menuju selatan
Aku di titik nol, melongo.Aku menatap langit, bintang itu masih kelap kelip, satu satu.
Masih26 Agustus 2013
Bambu Kuning 4

Virginity test issue

Is that very important for young people when they want to go to education institution? Honestly, I think this is a really stupid test. Hell yeah though, I still not find any clear reasons for the test but if there is a logical reason, I doubt that I will receive it sincerely. Just stupid. Ok, I will try to give a reason, it may to make student doesn't try to have sex before married. Then they can freely accepted with virginity status on their Student Identity Cards.Of course, that is the reason but it just odd. There is why education is not just education foundations, teachers, schools and government issue but of course society must responsible for that too especially family. As long as family can strongly manage their children who are in students age both boys and girls, there is much better than virginity test issue. I must say again, it is really odd. I am just speechless and feel sad, it issued by local government, what is happening to this country then?  …


Dalam rangka memperingati HUT RI #68, saya coba lebih baik lagi mendalami negeri. Sejarah itu menarik ditelusuri, mengambil makna dan memperdalam visi & misi seorang anak bangsa, yang terlahir di tanah kaya, Indonesia. Sejarah bukan hal membosankan yang tertinggal dalam lembar-lembar buku yang menguning dan berdebu. Sejarah itu pembelajaran dan mereka yang mempelajarinya menimbun kebijakan sebanyak mereka mempraktikannya.
Saya terinspirasi dari rekan-rekan senior di Komjak yang selalu mdmbagi kisah dulu yang mengandung banyak nilai.
Memang ini PR untuk saya, untuk lebih menambah koleksi bacaan saya dengan sejarah atau kisah perjuangan masa lampau, di mana dalam keterkukungannya akan banyak ide-ide kreatif bermunculan.
Sebagai warga negara yang baik,  saya perlu terus menjaga mimpi saya untuk ikut menjadikan Indonesia yang lebih baik. Ada banyak cara, dengan lebih baik di tempat umum, membayar pajak, menjaga mimpi dan terus berusaha meraih mimpi.
Selamat hari merdeka, Indonesiak…


After read many stories about the successful applicants who wrote their experiences, I am feeling down but excited too. Oh My, how can I? Damn! I am the most confident & brave person who apply the scholarship abroad? My fear comes out because they are really have good score academically & also their English are great.  Some of them were really struggled to achieve their dreams, tried more than five times to get a scholarship while I was countless. I was busy doing nothing, sought my reasons why I didn't apply, satisfy with the answer that my academic record is not good enough to achieve scholarship. Try it first, girls. Not just try, but try your best. Dudidudadadudidudada So far, I failed my first try coz I didn't submit my iBT Toefl test at the specific time the scholarship had given, so it failed automatically. Then the second was the heart terror, hahahaha. It was hard to explain what I did at the time, I was so stupid ,it seems funny though . What…


It was nice Sunday. When you were planning something else besides  church then going church first. Noted!
Dear Mary, it was a nice day to be reminded of your life story, beautiful characters & attitudes. Please keep me staying near God's hand.Next story is, after our last meeting in Erlyn's house, we were meeting again as we planned before but the place had changed to another place where we thought there wouldn't be so crowded. Yeah, it was. We spent half of day in UI lake where we blacklisted if we still students hahaha. After had lunch that we bought at the near "warteg", we felt sleepy a bit because the silence was perfect but we ended up played card. Here is some photos we took and my favorite one is zombie style/oppa D**** style.I am grateful for the simple trip. I hope my father and 2nd brother will arrive safely on their trip from Ende to Kupang by ship. Now Wig is in his days preparing for college days. I hope he will do best for everything & I kn…

Happy Lebaran day!

Happy Lebaran day!
I visited Erlyn's family on the 1st Lebaran day with friends. We had a good day! I was so happy :-DI want to say, happy lebaran day to all of families & friends, hope everyone is feeling happy  & gratefull after the fasting month :-D#8

Tulisan menjelang pagi

Saya bisa!
Seruan malam hari menjelang pagi yang berkecamuk sejak beberapa malam lalu. Oh Tuhan, saya sedang dengan keinginan membuncah akibat mood booter di post sebelumnya dan satu lagi buku Haram Keliling Dunia karangan mba Nur Febriani Wardi, yang mengalir lancar membuat saya ingin menghabiskannya dalam semalam :-o She just like has spoken to me directly. 
Eits, kemudian saya sadar, liburan saya masih panjang, simpan untuk hari berikutnya. Wait me till the next day, ya!
Saya takut. Takut sama saya sendiri, yang suka "hangat-hangat tai ayam" kata seorang teman. Oke, saya akan bawa oven, untuk selalu menjadi "tai ayam" yang selalu hangat dan jangan sampai gosong.
Ayo nak iBT test planning segera. Mantapkan writingmu nak, karena biasanya tidak terstruktur, apalagi gaya tulisan saya yang lebih suka membuat orang berpikir. Sudah jelas mau bilang A tapi tetap merasa tidak seru kalau tidak berbelok ke B atau C. They won't make you play with poem!
Salam "tai…

A succes story of life

I woke up today and heard a good news. Two of my friends in college who were struggled for abroad scholarship have gotten what they have wanted for years. That was really a mood booster thru this day. They are really inspiring, waiting patiently & succes keeping the dream alive. I should be like that then. Another good news comes from someone, a friend & a nice blogger too whose I have shared dreams with, she makes her passion to be real & that has brought her to other rewards, a better education plans. I am just so happy to hear that. Such a bless!Congratulation everyone for your great
achievements, this really makes my day!#6

Menuju Spiritualitas

Saya sejujurnya bukan seseorang yang terbuka untuk berbicara mengenai iman dan spiritualitas. Namun saya sedang sangat tertariknya untuk membahas masalah yang sangat privasi ini. Betul, saya menganggapnya sangat privasi  karena ke-Allah-an itu sendiri begitu dalam, begitu personalnya. Tulisan ini selayaknya sebuah refleksi untuk menjadikan saya lebih dalam memahami kespritualitasan saya dan sama sekali bukan kereligiusan saya. Mencerna lebih mendalam tentang hubungan saya, karena akhir-akhir ini saya pikir keduniaan saya memerangkap begitu dalam. Injil minggu ini bersama khotbah yang kali ini panjang tapi tak membosankan, menyentil saya, menegur dan mengingatkan saya. Lebih kepada siapa saya dan keduniaan saya yang tidak dibawa mati. Saatnya lebih berempati, lebih mengerti dan lebih menjadi bijak. Bersiap menjadi wanita baik bagi siapa pun. Mengubah kebiasaan buruk menjadi lebih baik. Thanks God, for kindly remind me of things, I should do. Walk with me in every way. #5, silence is tr…

Salam & Semangat Pagii

Hey kamu, selamat pagi!
Lebih indah mengucapkan selamat pagi padamu, karena kita tahu hari dimulai dari pagi dan rasa syukur tak ubahnya adalah doa yang indah karena kita diberi hari yang baru. Kamu pasti baik-baik saja, jika kamu berpikir begitu, apapun keadaanmu. Kamu tahu bahwa kebahagiaan tidak diukur dari seberapa besar apa yang kamu dapat dari semua hal yang kamu inginkan, tetapi dari bagaimana kamu melihat segala sesuatu dengan positif. Bukan hal yang mudah, semudah apa yang saya tuliskan di sini, tetapi itulah cara terbaik untuk merasa lebih baik, kawan.Sisi kreatif dan spontanitas kita pun dilatih. Yah, bukan maksud saya agar kita lalu menerima apapun dalam keadaan seadanya, tetapi bagaimana kita mengubahnya menjadi lebih baik. Menciptakan hal baru, melakukan hal-hal yang tidak biasa dilakukan. Yah, karena kita harus menemukan cara masing-masing yang "kita banget" meski terlihat aneh but hey guys, break the rules  & follow your heart!Saya ingin yang terbaik unt…

Full of moon

Dear man out there, a moon here is full, full of blessed things around
full of happiness
full of joys
You may say, I am a liar
Truly liar who can't honestly face the stupid thing you named real worldDear man out there, a moon here is full,
Full of light in our dark site
Full of hopes & prayers
Also dreamers
You may say, again I am stupid liar, big mouth or the worst you can named I also see the half moon too like which one you see
sometimes I just see the dark
But I know the full moon will come again
Just wait patiently
You may say, whatever you named
I just want you know, we can change our perspectives Dear man out there, a moon here is full
Full of excitements
Coz the gift of our life has given by who we call God
We are made thru his great great workFull of moon

Babies Name

My best friend just asked me to give an idea about her children name. Owww, I was so impressed but still not have any idea about the name. "hemmm, how about George? Yeahh, like princess William's son" "Yey, nope, I don't want something mainstream. I don't like it." " So, do you have any on your mind?" "I am still working on it. I am looking to find a good meaning, hemmm,it's still on puzzle." "Yay, give me the meaning , I'll help you find good name then." Hey, but I think it must be both of you working with that. It'll be really cute for couple to find their children names. Hope you'll find good names then. If there will be a girl, named after me, hehehehe. Yayyy, I just realize that just yesterday we were talking about homework or comics or magazines in our teen days and now we are thinking about baby's  name. It's really not a joke. She is in her pregnancy now and expecting h…

Malala Yousafzai

Malala Yousafzai, a 16 years old girl comes with the great story in her early age. I am just find her life story and it touches my heart deeply. Oh MG, she has done right thing to speak up about girls education in Swat region, Pakistan but had attacked. Fortunately, now she is getting better and studying in United Kingdom. Her diary first published on BBC Urdu with pen name Gul Makai  then has spread around the world. Her stories are just like an ordinary diary of teen girl but it was really well written especially about  girl's ban education in her area by Taleban. Best wishes to you, Malala Yousafzai, glad to know you this morning. Your spirit inspires me to be more young, brave & active. #2

Welcome August

Heyyyy, this absolutely my month! Yeay, the August comes, here is the first day.  I was grateful for Chem07 gathering moment in the best place in Depok. Well, surrounded by people who inspire you a lot in everything make the moment was so refresh, right? Life after graduation day was so real; it wasn't same with in college. Everyone faces & battles with each problem. Many may still idealism for what they want for life, many may not. Reunion brings some ideas & inspirations back again.
Life is not such working then builds a family, work and that's all. Learn from meeting  & greeting makes me feel so refresh. As a human, we used to be reminded by people around, by their experiences, thoughts, characters, & attitudes. When we have more open mind that is easy to make our life better. We can learn from other experiences and share ours too. Each people we meet along the way in our life, will teach us what us want for life, if we allow them do that. Also, we can be an i…

July to August

What life has taught you? 
An alone soul, in the long long way
still you haven't a clue where is the end 
Someone asked you, who is your God? 
That makes you angry, 
You have taken the differences You are afraid  You are, you are 
You have known, He is always, always beside you When you wake up  Take a deep breathe & He touches you with the air  When you meet people & find smiles, He gives you his heart
A soul In the way Just aware where He is  When everything seem not so bright, He brings the light  He brings the light  Feel it  & be delighted 
Neither those question nor the answer  will bother you anymore

July,  Thanks for everything Here I'm prepare for the bright August 


I really feel like a fool now, just realize that. I hope all is going well. I have tried my best, I give the rest for you, God. I just send my application for a scholarship. That was very late, but I believe it'll be on their office tomorrow morning, the day when it'll close #sigh Oh my, I was waste days with regret about waste things that unproven. Luckily, I have known it, I answered my regrets & thoughts myself, waste things were not happen, just my regret. ...
Another story goes, the sad one. Learn from mistakes. Learn that we must use time like we won't face it tomorrow.  I am just sad, one of my favorite glee actor died at 31. My deep condolence to Mr Monteith family, friends and the loved ones, Ms Lea Michele:( Both talents & performances were always amazing.Their glee series 1,2 were help me thru my undergraduate thesis, what a joy to watching! Besides the funny one, Running Man. 
Life depends not man himself, it reminds me about How great our God is. Besides we…


"Ma, itu keretanya mau ke mana?"
"Ga tau".
"Ma, itu keretanya mau ke mana?"
"Ga tau"
"Kok mama ga tau sih?
"Mama keretanya mau ke mana?"
"Ke Jawa"
"Ngapain ke Jawa mah?"
"Ga tau"
"Kok mama ga tau?"
Kereta melewati stasiun Gambir.
"Ma, kok keretanya ga berhenti?"
"Itu Monas tuh"
"Ma, kok mama ngeliatin Monas melulu?"#EhMenjadi ibu.
Dalam jalan, minggu pagi

Dalam jalan

Dan apakah mimpi ini terlalu tinggi?
Ipk pas-pasan,
Score toefl juga pas pasanCuma semangat ini yang membuncah kuat, mengaburkan semua ketidakmungkinanDi titik galau :-/Tengah malam

Salah orang

Hari ini dari facebook seorang dosen, saya melihat foto ibu dosen pembimbing saya dan langsung kangen. Lalu Nenci mengingatkan saya tentang kisah kurang sopan saya terhadap beliau
:$Nah, kemudian itu hampir terulang lagi dan kali ini korbannm
ya seseorang yang cukup
disegani.Seseorang meminta saya untuk menghubungi kita sebut saja, pak A. Saya sebelumnya tidak punya bayangan sama sekali soal pak A dan kemudian disebutkan bahwa beliau di bagian document control. Terbentuklah sosok cowok yang kira-kira sebaya, yang suka mengantar drawing untuk rekan kerja saya. "halo, pak A, ditungguin meeting project ya"
"waduh jam segini, lama ga?"
"Yah kira-kira selesainya jam makan siang, pak"
"wah lama, saya kan mau ngurus ATM saya. Itu atm tuh bikin repot gimana gaji saya."
"oh iya ATM ya pak,pin nya bermasalah kan pak.Saya juga tuh pak, mau ganti pin kan susah kan pak, padahal saya sudah complain ke HRD juga. Ntar, rencananya saya juga mau ke bank&qu…

What's new?

Update for this April&May.Things going wellIt was only how well I manage my thoughtsWe choose what we want to feelI am yours,God

Find Something

I just know what I want to do next. Thank youThe feeling is good.
If noone here, I will burst into tears.No regret anymore, things will go ok. Next plan is find the way to make the panel believe with what I want to do.

Di suatu sudut

"lalu pasangan itu datang, tidak mengindahkan permisi. Hey, kalian seperti mengejek"Aku sedang bermain dengan pikiran waktu itu.Kadang tersenyum kilas sendiri, sejenak abai ramainya sekitar. Aku puas dengan hari ini, mendapati gadget yang dinanti terpegang anggun di tangan. Aku akhirnya purna memilikinya, setelah berbulan mencari dan memastikan dia benar untukku. Hari sedang  sendu, dengan bekas tanah basah dan hujan yang rintik malu-malu tapi mau, tidak menahan hatiku untuk datang membaginya dengan si A. A itu Ailinda, adik kelasku.Oh ya hari ini hari Sabtu, malam minggu. Aku ingin melewatkan waktu bersama Ailinda, mungkin menceritakan mingguku tapi lebih aku ingin berbagi kesenanganku padanya, aku punya gadget baru.
Semoga Depok tidak sesendu jalanan Jakarta, yang aku lewati dengan tidak akan merindu jika suatu hari aku menapak di tanah pulau yang lain. Lain dengan Depok,yang suka terlalu ramah, seringkali menahan lebih lama.Langkahku pun tak henti meski jalanan begitu jau…

Hey Teman I

Untuk Arni
& merekaHey teman,
kau tahu bahwa persahabatan kita tak lekang oleh waktu.
Sejak jemari kecil kita saling menggegam di usia sekolah dasar, lalu pelan jemari kita menggenggam tangan lain di masa pubertas dan setelah itu. Kau tahu ceritanya, tidak lebih dari dua kali.Hey teman,
banyak sekali yang ingin kukatakan lebih-lebih waktu itu, waktu kita tidak bersama karena kita ternyata menggambar masa depan kita sendiri bersama Tuhan. Kau tahu, aku ingat ketika segalanya tak perlu terkatakan & kau mengerti segala yang tak keluar itu, lalu kita tertawa. Hey teman,
kau tahu aku selalu lebih sibuk,aku menghilang beberapa waktu memalingkan wajah dari huruf-huruf kecil pesanmu yang selalu datang
Lalu tanpa bersalah aku datang dan mengirimimu sejumlah cerita yang selalu terjawab dengan antusiasHey teman,
kau tahu aku sering tak adil padamu.
Memburumu dengan sejumlah tanya tanpa paham keadaanmu
Dari dulu selalu kau yang mendengar,
kau tahu, kau diaryku yang berbicara.



Aku ingin menuliskan ini, memberitahumu, maaf jika bukan keluar dari bibirku karena jika ya, itu akan terdengar seperti tangisan. Aku tidak ingin begitu. Aku tidak ingin kau melihatnya. Rasanya tetap sama, masih dari hati bahkan tahu kah kau berapa lama waktu yang kubutuhkan untuk menyelesaikan kalimat demi kalimat yang kutulis, tanpa membiarkan air mataku jatuh membasahi lembaran surat yang kau baca ini.
Aku sekarang sedang sekarat. Sekarat karena rindu yang menumpuk.Sekarat karena ketiadaan nyatamu, karena kau tahu tiap senja aku sering melihat bayanganmu. Entahlah, terdengar gila. Aku melihatmu selalu melambai ke arahku dan ketika aku berlari menuju senja itu, kau hilang.
Aku diam menikmati ujung senja itu hingga gelap merayap pelan. Ah, lihat, kau seakan senang meninggalkanku, berteman dingin yang menusuk.
Kau tahu, aku habiskan subuhku dengan mengeluh, kenapa cepat pagi datang mengambilmu dari mimpi sedang aku yakin saat itu kau memelukku. Sesaat kerinduanku terbayar.Sendu.



"Aku melangkah ke mana kaki membawaku pergi di tengah kesuntukanku dan sejauh aku berjalan, rasa sakitku hilang perlahan. Aku menikmati hijau, dengan rujak dan bumbunya, & sedang ada jazz di sana. Aku sedang beruntung/ini cara Tuhan mengembalikanku pada aku yang seharusnya."

Utk Doroth. Aku letih dgn segala kesibukan yg menguras habis energiku. Aku tahu itu tidak seharusnya terjadi, karena toh aku memilihnya. Aku memilihnya dengan tekad bulatku sendiri, tanpa paksaan. Orang tuaku bukan tipe yang tahu benar apa yg terbaik bagi anaknya. Mereka tahu yang terbaik adalah jika kami memilih sesuai apa yang kami inginkan. Selanjutnya pilihan adalah bukan soal benar/salah. Memilih adalah memuaskan batin & siap dengan segala hal ke depannya, karena itu proses. Yah aku kadang tidak siap dengan resikonya, mungkin karena terbuai dengan tawaran keindahan yg terjadi nantinya, tapi lebih miris jika pada be continued.Dalam jalan dgn kebebasan penuh & hati yg tak patah …


They are really awesome.
All change to beautiful.
They are really awesome.
Big question all the time is how God creates them, thousands people with different faces with those nice smiles.Smiles.
How God creates that?



Before first day over,welcomeeeee:-D
Be more wise
Be more strong
Be more struggleand Maria
I'd love to sing your name everyday all along this May.
Yay and help me to be more beautiful, both my face & hearth. I try to be on make up things & I try to love that.

April was incredible great and I hope it works for May. It will:-D



I hate absurd thing. When,why,how, are spread around my head. Nothing gonna change, or because I am not change. I feel kinda of strange but I just can't explain that. Let's FLY again though your wings aren't yet ready.Little bird,little bird spread your wings, feel the air,face the wide sky.Go, just take a bath dan face thing bravely:-D

Not just words, a medicine. It's healing.
At the end, world & everything is seems so interesting. That is, how I love its process, finding alone word by word even from absurd things then understanding it.

Rosa D Panda_
Writing is really healing

Ya ampun, sempit banget,dunia!

Bloggers, dunia itu ternyata sempit:-D
Setelah merasa tempat kerja jauh dari lingkungan yang diakrabi. Pindah ke daerah kos-kosan baru di mana rasanya semua serba baru. Nyatanya tidak demikian, setelah kira-kira sebulanan, saya tak sengaja bertemu dengan seorang teman kuliah di tahun pertama. Sama-sama tergabung di kelas gabungan untuk kuliah umum anak semester 1. Pertama sih saya yang nge liat, tapi masih takut salah, eh dilihat lg mirip banget. Saya panggil saja mumpung sepi dan ternyata yang dipanggil nengok. Waduh langsung pasang muka kaget dan sama-sama berteriak, "ya ampun sempit banget,duniaaaa!"Nah, satu lagi ternyata ada teman kantor yang dulunya gedung jurusannya sebelahan sama saya. Eh, setelah ditelusuri ternyata dulunya kita seasrama, beda gedung sih, tapi ga pernah keliatan sih. Sejauh-jauhnya saya dari kantor, eh ternyata ketika saya ke arah selatan pun yang lumayan jauh tetap kelihatan batang hidung orang kantor, PM teman saya. Dunia sempit ya:-D


BW again




walau lagi capek-capeknya tapi kalau kita sukaa, duhhh benar bikin senang:D


Sejauh mana kamu pergi, akan ada tempat untuk pulang
Seberapa pun besar rasa bersalahmu, akan ada banyak hati yang menerima bahkan sebelum kamu mengucapkan maaf.
Sebesar pun besarnya rasa takutmu, akan ada banyak tangan dan bahu yang selalu siap memberimu tepukan hangat dan pelukan.
Seberapa besar rasa kecewa membebanimu, akan ada banyak hati dan mata yang melihatmu layaknya pemenang.Ada satu syarat,
hanya jika kamu tidak menjadi terlalu jauh. Jika ya, maka berhentilah sejenak di tempatmu, berpalinglah ke belakang untuk melihat seberapa jauh kamu berjalan.


San's birthday

Happy birthday dearest San! You are so handsome, nice and grow up in good way. I love to know you are really good in dancing & it's so lovely mom watched your first show. I Hope you'll be what you want to be, San. You have made your eleven. Happy birthday!


Sekurang-kurangnya kita masih ada yang lebih kurang. Bersyukur dan respect dengan siapa pun hukumnya wajib. Banggalah dengan apa pun yang dimiliki apalagi memiliki orang-orang terdekat. Hargailah dan banggalah dengan ayahmu atau ibumu dengan profesi mereka. Tidak dipandang dari ukuran atau standar bagus atau tidaknya pekerjaan mereka, selama masih halal, patut kita banggakan. Yang paling penting sih, saya ingin setiap orang bangga dengan pekerjaannya dan lebih penting lagi kita semua mampu untuk menghargai kecil atau besarnya pekerjaan seseorang. Tidak mengecilkan atau membesarkan pekerjaan orang lain, apalagi memandang sebelah mata. Kita semua menjadi satu dalam sebuah sistem. Sistem yang baik menyatukan dan menghargai setiap elemennya.


Bahagianya Weekend

Saya suka naik kereta di hari Minggu. Kalian pasti tahu mengapa, karena tidak penuh, itu sudah tentu. Kesempatan untuk mendapatkan tempat duduk pun lebih besar. Nah, satu lagi melihat wajah-wajah yang diliputi kepuasan batin. Bukan ekspresi lelah karena kecapekan bekerja. Wajah-wajah lelah di hari Sabtu Minggu begitu berbeda, kebahagiaan dan kepuasan begitu jelas terpancar. Biasanya mereka berkelompok, mulai dari tua, sampai yang sangat muda. Bagi yang bekerja weekend adalah waktu yang paling ditunggu. Suasananya lebih santai dan segar. Di sela kesibukan bekerja, kita memang butuh hari libur di mana kita bisa lebih bersantai. Memang butuh pengeluaran yang lumayan tetapi menikmati alam bebas selalu lebih mudah terjangkau. Pergi beramai-ramai dengan menggunakan angkutan umum seperti kereta membuat perjalanan lebih meriah dan menyenangkan. Bertemu banyak keluarga-keluarga lain dengan kebutuhan yang sama di tempat wisata, mengurangi resiko ketidaknyamanan. Malah bisa menambah relasi.

Without Sub

Keinginan ini makin membuncah, Tuhan. Biarkanlah terjadi sekehendakMu. Perlengkapi selalu dengan semangat yang tiada pupus untuk terus mengupayakannya. Sejak awal, satu dua halangan teratasi membuat saya percaya keyakinan dan usaha yang sungguh dipelihara secara terus menerus akan terwujud nyata. Menguji sampai batas mana saya bisa. Dunia itu luas,nak. Mari berlayar:-D


Today's Learn

Don't be too confident with what you talked about, what your thoughts about that. It looks so stupid because you just exaclty know based on your own, while we are not live just small number of people. things are different for each even they are look the same to you.

Simple example is when someone talk to stranger about what her/his excellent skill in town that very well known there to a master who just come in town from very big city with his great experiences that the one hasn't face before.
The master just sits & listens to the stories that he has experienced it. Also give a meaning smile but the someone still unconscious coz he/she lets his/her big mouth.Thinking after speaking is good as a reflection, the bad thing is if it leave as regret. What we should do for better life? Confident speaking after deep thingking will be better.

Rosa D Panda

Attitude (1st &only)

I am not saying, I am perfect in attitude, sometimes without being aware I can be wrong. As well known statement, we still the man, not God.But as a man too we must have deep understanding one to another. I had bad experience today, poor me I couldn't stop myself thinking that, I should . I was a victim, someone was shouting while I didn't know what she talked about. Honestly, It disturbed me, I was about to cry, hell yeah it shouldn't but I couldn't handle it. Ignoring&laughing may perfect way to overcome how angry we are, but it won't happen like that:'-(Learning from that way, will make sense, angry just a while then evaluating it, so it won't happen again. Working is not just do what we have to do because we are paid to do that; it is teamwork, with another person who has characters. Please, care about your attidude, respect other people. Man, life is not just under your small nose, small world. Everything here is valuable, if no it's just abou…

Soal Pandangan

Semakin ke sini, keinginan untuk belajar makin bertambah. Belajar sebenarnya kapan saja, di mana saja & sudah selayaknya setiap hari. Namun memimpikan lingkungan, metode, budaya & pengalaman yang serba baru bukan hal yg salah/benar. Sebagai manusia, keingintahuan tidak bisa dihindari. Seorang rekan mengingatkan saya, untuk tidak bermain2 di masa muda. Saya tertegun sejenak, mengingat kembali program kehidupan saya & bertanya dalam hati, apa iya?
Rekan saya merekomendasikan jalan pintas untuk sebuah profesi yang jujur kurang saya minati, tapi bisa jadi akan dibutuhkan jika keadaan tidak sesuai dengan apa yg saya inginkan.
Mengelak dengan mengatakan waktu saya masih banyak, membuatnya berpikir saya bermain2 di waktu muda.
Bukan itu, ada hal yang memang tidak bisa kita jelaskan ke semua orang, ini hanya soal dengan siapa kita berbicara. Pandangan masing2 akan berbeda sesuai orientasi, profesi & kedewasaan. Saya merasa didorong untuk membuktikan rencana sy akan jadi nyata…

Mother's Worry 2

Yay, I was phoned by my mother again and she said about "jodoh".Woowww, she is so worry about me, I posted about mother's worry some months ago, didn't I ? But I think that is so normal, I am just her only daughter. I am aware that she knows everything about me, even this long distance just by the words, voices and her feels. The message is just surrender all the time with God's plans. In daily conversation, this topic becomes trend with some of close friends, yayaya we are in our twenty something. Some of my friends have married already so it is something to think about. I am not under pressure or something like that but I can't control myself and others for being so confusion or if you familiar with galau, hehehehe. I have short conversation about it when I asked my friend about when the time comes to us and what we should do. The answer has made me aware. She said," Just prepare yourself until the time is come" Yess, she is right. The short answe…


Biar titik itu lepas, biar dia buas
Biar titik itu jatuh, biar dia sakit
Biar titik itu luka, biar
dia mengerang
Biar titik itu cabik, biar dia goyah
Biar titik itu remuk, biar dia musnahTitik. Dia tidak hilang
Biar kau lucuti hingga peluh
Biar kau lukai hingga
Tetap begitu

Rosa D Panda

Shadow is you

He said about someone, and I am feeling sad. I guess, he has fallen in love or something with I don't know who. It is like a glass, fragile, it's break slowly. I have begun like him since I knew him by words, his words, just it, it's kind of strange. Yeah, he has his own feeling to the other lucky girl, I guess. I appreciate who he is, a different person, not like the other. We have same in everything(I guess), yay.We had some conversations and I enjoyed it. He was caring and understanding and it helped me through my hard time. Hey you, I really appreciate it:-D
Hope you are doin well with things you do. I should back behind the line, but how if this become more strong?:'-(
Next, the ITP TOEFL test is good enough for applying scholarship but how could my last ETP better than this one. Yay, tips for next try is really focus on the listening section. I confident with my listening but I let myself being distrub with something else, not really listened, yay I couldn't fi…


Jadi gue baru selesai tes, kebetulan agak mumet jadi pakai bahasa yang kurang formal aja. Posisi gue di pojokan angkot yang lagi macet. Prediksi gue sebelumnya kalau listening gue bakalan bagus agak meleset, gue agak kurang fokus, konsentrasi terganggu gara2 ngelingkarin jawaban agak lama. Lagian gue kira listeningnya bakal pakai earphone seperti yg iBT, jadi vokalnya pas di telinga. Kalau section 2, gue pasrah dan berharap penuh pada section 3.
Fiuhh gimance kalau iBT? Yah, sejauh ini menurut pengalaman gue dibanding soal TOEFL prediction LBI UI, lebih mudah yg ini:-DUntunglah sedikit terkesima dengan rombongan calon dokter yg ganteng2 aisshh, cerah banget jadinya:-D! Lanjut ketemu 2 expatriat muda, tampan dengan kostum olahraga gitu, tambah sumringah:-D

Satu lagi ternyata gue lapar parah padahal 1 jam sebelum tes gue baru makan, so pasti efek mikir. Yeay, mari makan su! Selebihnya berserah penuh & mengucap syukur karena kelancaran tesnya. Terakhir, ini Valentine Day ya?



Tadi pagi saya terbangun dengan mimpi yang tetap bernyala untuk mencoba peruntungan di dunia beasiswa. Berkunjung ke bloggers lain yang juga sedang apply & senior yang telah berhasil, membaca setiap pengalaman mereka dan menemukan, ah kita samaaa pernah begitu! Sorak-sorak & then semangat menjadi berlipat ganda.
Niat tetap menjadi modal utama meski banyak kekurangan di sana sini, keep positive thinking & gaining more support. Next, tes TOEFL yg paling wajib. Sebelumnya saya cuma punya pengalaman TOEFL Prediction Test di tahun 2007 & 2012 yang hasilnya masih bikin meringis, soalnya tanpa persiapan (alasan). Berikutnya tes EPT dari perusahaan yg bekerja sama dengan LIA, how lucky I am!515, kurang 45 lagi.
Beberapa beasiswa mensyaratkan TOEFL iBT/IELTS tapi saya memilih ITP dulu saking mahalnya & takut scorenya tidak bagus, maklum belajarnya sendiri. Jadi pengen banget bikin English Club biar speakingnya lancar. Untunglah ada beasiswa hanya mensyaratkan ITP for th…

Reading Passage

I was searching a channel on radio and then I stopped moving when I heard about discussion in English in medical technology (hearth disease). Acctually, one of the speakers is non native in Indonesia and I am so surprise that they are mention about Mayo Clinic. I am not familiar with the clinic but just yesterday my first time read about a history of Mayo Clinic in my TOEFL reading passage and spent time a lot to reread about it . What a time!
You know, I feel so bored if I don't familiar with reading topic in my Toefl preparation text. I can't find the answer quikly and feel sleepy:-O. Sometimes I wonder where on Earth the characters or the stories in the reading passages(public figure stories/history) took place instead I have known just my thaught was strange. It was real.
I hope I will be given familiar reading passages in my ITP TOEFL today. I am so nervous, guys! I hope a good score that can pass for scholarship requirement.
Hope all of you are doing good readers!

Brother Stories

I have missed my family so much these days. Luckily my first bro have called me and we had a nice chit chat. Sometimes, we braggs the old joke, the funny words we never hear again like "nganga leba sekali, wala, e ale". Not only nice chat but also serious problems too like each point of view about life and end with disagrement opinions about that. Yeah, I do respect others so if we againt each other that doesn't really matter so
does he. I am so grateful because he have a good job now and hope he will do his best and stay healthy.Next I was phoned by my mother and she said about my younger brother, San. He and his friends showed how well they dancing in public ceremony in town square. I was surprise because I thought that he was a shy person unlike the second bro. I assumed his personality like the first but it was wrong. He danced as well as the second.

Rosa D Panda_Writing is healing

Running Man

Watch Running Man is the most favorite thing I do. I love to watch this reality show in my free time. Running Man is Korean reality show which the members must solve the mission given by the crew. The cheerfully members are Yoo Jae Suk, Ji Suk Jin, Kim Jong Kook, Kang Gary, Haha, Song Ji Hyo, Lee Kwang Soo, and Song Jong Ki(1-41). I can't choose between each of them due to their own personalities but without Yoo Jae Suk, running man will be nothing.
The guests who appeared in RM are very warm welcome by the members especially actress or actors who rarely come to reality show besides the idols. Yong Hwa CN Blue was one of the best guest, Ha Ji Won, Big Bang of course, Middle age flower race & many more I can't mention them one by one, I enjoyed watching it.
The show brings cheerfully spirit, make me laugh a lot.
Also I love the crew, Jae Suk VJ is nice too. They have good relationship since 1st episode when JS complained about VJ's breath sound after run.
Running Man …